Yes I thought about it. I was given a glimpse into a future with you and I wanted it. We were both surprised of how much we connected on our first kiss. We walked, talked then we embraced…the kiss sealed our hearts. How? I don’t know. I felt you and you felt me. Our heart beat.
The last night before our split we were free. In that moment our bodies became one and we both knew. I was shocked when you texted me and how we split. I’m sorry my actions caused you pain. That was not what I wanted you to feel.
We began talking again but I was surprise at how much you had affected me. I did not want to open up and feel you snatched away again but I did.
The heart beat. No I wasn’t drunk when I said it, well…maybe I was a little but my mind was clear. LOL! The heart beat. The pulse that brought our walls down maybe even part of the fortress. I let you in. We understood the heart beat. It seemed that the time we spent apart made us wiser. I was skeptical at first because our parting was turbulent but I still thought about you. I did not want to lose you. I did not know how to keep you. The both of us wise but maybe foolish with love. I don’t know. I just know that you and I were compatible in many ways.
I especially enjoyed our late night talks about everything. The glimpse felt real. You felt real. You said you did not know when the expiration will be but this would not last. In some alter universe I thought about how you and I would be…could be…maybe? I don’t know but I love you. I miss you. I’m sorry if I hurt you. Did I? I think I did from what is my life…
I got use to you. We test drove for a brief moment and I liked it. Despite the stress we both were experiencing I liked being in your company. Sitting watching you work as I worked. Seeing you tired yet still so filled with life. Knowing that we were both exhausted I still found you amazingly beautiful.
We were able to get back together and enjoy for a brief moment each others company. I’m sorry you worried about me. I worried about you. I knew what you were going through. You thought I was full of it but I loved the way you looked in the morning and the way you felt going to bed. Cuddling…natural as if our bodies were designed for each other.
I loved kissing you goodbye in the morning knowing that I was going to see you that night. Taking a shower with you and talking about anything felt…do you know? Did you know?
I had to leave and when I got back it was different. At first you were sick, but as time passed I think I got the message. You have a way of saying without saying. I figured that it was the wrong time, we missed our chance or the expiration arrived. I wanted to scream “What the Cuss happened” but I didn’t.
I still needed to hear your story.
What were you feeling/thinking? What happened? I don’t know. Maybe I never will. Maybe it was a misunderstanding…
We still exchange I love yous. I know you care and I think you know I do but I can’t see you or maybe it is not right to?
I can keep going but I just wanted you to know…I miss you