Posted by: Reginald Cyntje | January 12, 2010

I wonder…

Some think we are not affected. Does sex determine affection, remorse, pain, responsibility, decision?

I remember learning about you. Hmmm, the excitement…

I wonder who you are. Are you playing waiting for the right time to come, to enter? Was I not ready?
I wonder what your name will be. Will it be a mantra that tells a story of your destiny? Maybe you will change history when you finally arrive.

I wonder if you are excited to eventually meet your brothers. I wonder if you are a boy or girl. I wonder if you could feel my tears. I wonder if you were saving me. I wonder if you will forgive me. I wonder…

You never came. Maybe you will one day. Maybe I have to make sure the nest is ready for your arrival. Maybe the pain is preparing me for the immense joy I will feel when you are finally here. I still wonder…

I still wonder if I will ever see you smile, laugh, play, grow, learn, love…maybe I missed the opportunity.

Do you know I wrote a song for you? Maybe I will write something new when you are born. Maybe you want me to love them harder so you are giving me time. Maybe you are compassionately looking over me, us. I don’t know. You are not here but…I wonder


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