Posted by: Reginald Cyntje | January 30, 2010

I will wait…

…I was tempted. Fighting with myself knowing that if I act I will probably destroy instead of heal.

We began kissing but I could tell she was in pain. Hurting from the relationship she was in expressing her frustration with what was going on in her life. What do I do?

I like her. She has a warm spirit that invites you in but all she needs right now is a hug. I know she will regret this even if she keeps asking me to kiss, squeeze, hold, be in her presence completely. I must stop…

I ask “Are you sure? If you feel uncomfortable I will stop.” She said, “I’m sure.” I knew she wasn’t. When the sunrises and reality hits the consequences will be too great. This will cost us our friendship. My lesser self desiring now my wiser self thinking of the future.

Damn, this is hard. I know some men would care less about what she is feeling. The main focus? What she is giving! Do I want to be like the other men who used her?

I don’t want to but I enjoy kissing. Yes we are adults but I don’t want to be her escape. Her release. Why should I have a conscience? Life seemed simpler when I was a kid.

We kissed. We kissed. We kissed. I said no and she got pissed. “Why? Don’t you desire me?” She asked. I replied “Yes, I want you but not like this. You still care about him. When you begin thinking clearly this might end whatever this is. I don’t want to lose you because of a choice. I know you don’t plan to leave your mate.”

She assured me that we will be but I knew better. I really liked her. We could build a life together but I don’t want to be her temporary fix so…

I will wait.


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