Posted by: Reginald Cyntje | March 3, 2010

The first time I saw your face…

The first time I saw your face…

I smiled. I began fantasizing about a future with you. Not a conquest but our family. How our kids will look. I thought about waking up to your sun kissed skin in the Caribbean sun every morning. I thought about your smile.

The first time I saw your face, I wondered about a kiss, love, affection, understanding, giving and loving completely. My life instantly changed from our first kiss. In that moment, other kisses paled in comparison. Other arms didn’t matter. My mind, heart and soul were captivated by the spirit of you.

I think I knew that we would fall in love when I first saw your face. Well, my spirit knew and my conscious self had to catch up. The journey through life’s ups and downs preparing me for our first meeting that would last a lifetime.

At that moment I placed you on a pedestal not realizing you are human. You were better than me. I, an imperfect being making imperfect decisions, saw perfection in your eyes. I admired the life choices you made living vicariously through others. Most of my lessons came from learning the hard way, going through to get through. I guess I never met anyone like you.

The first time I saw your face I wondered if we were creating the perfect love song. A melody comprised of our true essence. Each day surprising us with modulations that inspire excitement and the desire for more. I think my mind flashed back to the many love songs I heard in my mom’s car growing up, the various descriptions of love in each song formulating my thoughts on romantic love vs. true love.

The first time I saw your face I wondered if we would understand the lessons of life. No matter the storms, the sun will rise and set. The grass will be green. I wonder if like life, we will find a way to live lovingly, creatively and passionately. Even in the beautiful tropics there are days that are not perfect. There are moments when violent hurricanes destroy your worldly possessions. Maybe it’s a cleansing, sometimes hard to deal with at first but a blessing.

As I gaze out the window of my beautiful surroundings filled with green everywhere, I see strong tall coconut trees, remodeled homes, progress and familiarity. I remember when roofs were gone and trees uprooted. I thought it would take a long time to rebuild. The trees are taller than they have ever been and the surroundings are more beautiful than I remember. Is this love? The humility that one must experience to be aware…

The memory of the first time I saw your face motivates me to be strong when things seem bleak. The pathway of love filled with leaps and turns leading to destiny. Understanding that the divine energy is guiding us through life teaching us why we are here. Loving unconditionally, not taking each other for granted, nourishing, living, learning, dreaming, realizing, adjusting, giving, adoring, you and me.

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Responses

  1. I read this more than once. What thoughts engulf you as you write? This makes me wonder. This piece has so much depth as do you other writings. Absolutely breathtaking.

  2. Chastity is very right your writing has so much depth…Enjoy coming back and reading each time. It makes me happy to see someone out there in the universe is healing and growing…It forces me to stay in touch with my own humanity though I prefer to give in to every bit of rage that the deep wounds I continue to struggle with give life to. I am not ashamed to say that I sincerely have tears in my eyes because I remember a time I could write about love in this manner. I miss looking at someone who others would reject and believing if they were loved enough, shown enough compassion and grace that they would be healed. Unfortunately, I believe a time is now approaching when my rage will finally put an end to childhood fantasies about the power of grace. Mercy is for the humble, God’s wrath awaits those who show no shame in harming others and stealing innocence.

  3. […] The first time I saw your face… March 20102 comments 5 […]


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