Posted by: Reginald Cyntje | July 23, 2010


Since the age of 14 I’ve experienced many roles in relationships. As I grew and listened, I learned a lot from stories and still continue to gain knowledge today.

Stories? Yes. Listening to different women in my life talk about their past. They expose me to a different view. They also help me to see how my own mistakes really made someone else feel.

I know that I can’t go back in the past and change choices I’ve made but I can be aware of my present actions. The yin and yang of me remain in balance. The stories start out with me inquiring, “so tell me what happened in that relationship.” She begins explaining the good, bad, love and pain. I listen. I wonder. I process…Then I finally understand.

Now I’m raising two boys that will one day become men. What will I tell them to minimize their mistakes? Maybe I will say love hard, love unconditional and love honestly? Maybe I will ask them to wait longer than I did so they can enjoy childhood? Maybe I will let them learn vicariously through me?

The common thread in the stories -be truthful. Sometimes fantastic stories seem more believable but according to these women, they prefer the truth. I guess a silver tongue is soothing but not needed. In complex adult relationships you never know what she might say yes to…

I rarely heard stories of great regret. Most women I spoke to were happy for the lessons of their past relationships. From my humble conversations with different ladies, I think they prefer to kiss slowly, laugh comfortably and allow pure energy to flow. I appreciate them sharing their truth with me and allowing me to learn how to seek atonement, grow and love openly.



  1. I read this and wonder if men simply take our life force learn mutate and grow, but we remain hollow shells ? I see the men around me becoming better at loving and this makes me happy. My visions for love have become theirs. I have always been a great lover but I think I am becoming a stronger woman. But will I become so strong I can no longer tolerate the growing pains of a relationship ?

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