Posted by: Reginald Cyntje | October 1, 2010


I’ve heard some of the most peculiar conversations on the bus. Today, My son and I rode the bus to school when we heard “my relationships don’t last that long.” The two women continued talking and laughing about their experiences.

Yes our society moves at a fast pace but should we take the same momentum to all aspects of life? When should we or shouldn’t we? Three month rule? Doesn’t it take 6 to 9 months to begin to know someone?

As the ladies talked, I had a flashback to earlier days of dating. Being the male in the equation I had a certain type of thinking. I was very visual. Usually the lady had different reasons for engaging. My young mind needed time for courting.

Whenever there was a waiting period, I was given the opportunity to learn about the spirit of a woman. Her story gave me time to understand her completely. Impatience usually led to disaster or a quick expiration date.

Courtship was for me. The temple was precious and deserved time so I could appreciate the full package before receiving the blessing.

Passionate pageantry was blinding when experienced within the first few hours, days or weeks. I’m not against connecting immediately but something happens when foundations are weak.

I came back to the present and wondered why her relationships didn’t last. Was the obvious invisible? Was it her choices or the immaturity of others? Was it her lack of self worth or others not knowing her worth?

As an adult, I might get lost in the heat of the moment but I still love to learn. I still love to wait for the surprise. I still love to take my time to unwrap the present. Especially when there is value. She blossoming when the sun rises? Nothing forced, pretentious or rushed…

When two people meet their intentions are not always the same. In my humble opinion I think we all need time. Time to appreciate the person before us. Time to understand the blessing. Time to know who we are dealing with and can we handle this. Time to possibly love.

Don’t get me wrong, I know not everyone is looking for love. But, none of us are looking to be disrespected, used or abused.

The ladies continued their banter revealing more than I needed to know. As my son and I got off the bus, I wished the ladies a good day…


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