Posted by: Reginald Cyntje | March 2, 2012

To a loved one…

What do you say to a loved one suffering from the age old sickness?

I love you is not enough…

I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum of love. We all enjoy a state of happiness that inspires warm thoughts of life and immortality. Many of us despise pain that depletes the soul of its natural resources. We detest pain that drags us into a cave of despair where reality is replaced by a feeling that tears away at the fabric of our self worth. 

Maybe I can talk about the lessons I’ve learned from elders.  “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” has been expressed in many ways. One elder just said be “deliberate” and the other focused on being “determined.”

When I speak to kids, I focus on self love, self respect and self worth. How do you teach this to someone that is grown? When the pain hits, we sometimes doubt our value. Do I steer them towards the self-help books? Counseling? Religion? All of the above?

Words are very powerful. I want them to see that what they say can adversely affect their body. I want them to think positive and feel that they are not alone. I want them to see that we all go through tough times and we come out better human beings after the struggle, the lesson, the test…

I’ve talked about the beatitudes. I’ve talked about affirmations. I’ve talked about surrounding self with positive friends, family and environment. I’ve talked about staying away from the cancer that is poisoning the soul. Quoting comedian Mr. Williams, I’ve talked about taking care of your “star player.”

Right now, I just want them to return to loving self. Even during this time of pain, they must love, respect and honor self. I’m trying to make love and life attractive but the pain they feel is leading them to more pain.

Life is for living. Part of living is feeling. The gentle flower is more soothing than the painful thorn but they are both part of life.

What do you say to a loved one suffering from the age old sickness? We love you. We will be here for you. This moment will pass…



  1. excellent words, i shall share now and store in mind for when i need to use them myself!

  2. we show people how to love by loving them.

    love changes people.

    to love someone who doesn’t love them self, eventually, they will come around and learn love by how they are loved.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: